My dad has been in the military all of my life. With that being said that means he also gets deployed a lot. When I was younger I remember him being gone and how much I missed him. So when I heard that he was leaving again I was devastated. My heart broke in two. It was like I could almost feel it splitting in half. I huge lump swelled up in my throat and made it nearly impossible to talk. All I wanted to to was crawl in a hole and never leave. Then, just to make it worse when it came time for my dad to really leave I wasn't even there to say good-bye. I felt like the worst daughter in the world. At that time I was ministering to kids and I missed his call. I was crushed.
For the next few months I just pouted around, feeling sorry for myself. The smallest thing made me upset and bitter. I wanted to yell, "Does anyone care about how I feel!?" It seemed like no one cared about how I felt. But I realize now that it was wrong for me to think like that.
It's not all about me. It's all about God. And when I thought no one cared, that was all just a big lie that the devil was telling. In fact a lot of people care about me and how I feel. All of those nights where I cried myself to sleep and thought about how much I really missed my dad, I should have been thinking about how proud I am for my dad. Yes, I miss him terribly but what he is doing is amazing. To sacrifice your comfort and your family to help people you don't even know is very noble.
So even though I haven't talked to my dad in a week and I miss him so much, I REFUSE to be upset about it. God didn't create me to just mope around and feel sorry about myself! He created me to glorify Him. To show the world what He has done for us. God gave His only Son to die on the cross for us. We certainly didn't deserve that! God sacrificed His one and only Son to be beaten, whipped, spat on, and nailed to a tree, to save the very people who are driving nails in His wrist. So when I do start feeling upset I won't get bitter, I will instead think about how proud I am for what my father is doing, and I will thank my Father in heaven for what He did. :-)
Written by,
jamNjelly
